“I Killed the Teen Dream:” My Fascination with Temptresses

jawbreaker

Yay! A pop culture post! The fiance and I are trying to solve some of our issues by spending more time together (this feat may soon become impossible if he picks up a second job). But we had a lot of fun earlier today screening a lesser known 1999 cult film, Jawbreaker. Jawbreaker was actually one of my favorite movies as a kid. It’s true that I was 9 when it came out, but I wasn’t really sheltered from films too much. It really depended on the situation. But yes, Jawbreaker is rated R.

The movie is about your standard high school popular girls clique (“the Flawless Four”) and what happens when one them is killed by the others through a failed birthday prank attempt. It bombed in the box office, but I ate it up once it was released at Blockbuster.

This could be a bad thing, but ever since I was a kid in the 90s I idolized the grungy girls and the seductive bitches from 90s teen films. I wanted to be a mix of the two. But I’m so awkward that I really am only the grunge part.

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I idolized Janet from Singles and Rachel from Disturbing Behavior (my first rated R movie in a theatre).

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But even though I hated her, I secretly wanted to be as sexy as Kathryn Merteuil from Cruel Intentions.

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But when it comes right down to it, I’m not even a Janet or a Rachel. I’m more like Andrea Marr from Girl (which is really okay because Dominique Swain is sooooo beautiful!). And she was also Lolita, another female temptress!

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Is it bad that I have a fascination with this type? That I want to be more like them? Of course, I would never cheat on my fiance or use sex as a way to ruin anybody. I admired these characters because they had so much confidence and admired their bodies. I’m a long way from the second, but I feel a sense of growing confidence upon clearing my skin.

As an undergrad, I was actually deemed a “hot girl” and actually got quite a few dates. Since then, I’ve gained some weight, but I’m working on that. Though I never was too skinny because I must admit I love my curves.

But maybe I can get my college flair back and work on spicing things up with my fiance by being more flirty. My friends used to refer to me as “the grunge goddess” and though it was embarrassing, I really miss the title. Maybe I can be that girl again. I had wanted so bad to be her since elementary school.

And yes, he did enjoy Jawbreaker.

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