Well, cat’s out of the bag with the title. Yes, it’s true, I have left my university. A few weeks ago, I was on my Spring Break. I spent my break the way I have always have for the past few years. I packed a suitcase and headed over to my fiance’s house. When I wasn’t trying to relax, I was working on assignments. My future mother-in-law made the comment that I wasn’t having as much fun as I normally do and she was right. It was on that break that I started realizing that I wasn’t happy anymore.
After the week long break, my fiance returned with me and he stayed for a week. I was crying all week long over the amount of work I had, When I say cry, I mean that really hard ugly cry with snot running down my face, yeah, not a pretty sight. The fact of the matter was, I did work a lot during the break and I still felt like I was sinking. My grades had gone from A’s to B-‘s, which is really cutting it close in graduate school. You get more than 2 C’s and you’re out
After the week passed and my fiance left, I lasted 24 hours. I made a list of all the things I had to do and woke up determined to get work done. As the evening crept in, I realized my entire presentation was straight from the textbook and I had no idea on how to present it. I called my fiance in tears and begged him to come get me, This was something I had done the entire week he was with me. I told him that if I stayed at home and in school I would end up in a mental institution. I had already stopped eating and sleep was just not happening. I had a feeling I was going to make the three C’s and get kicked out. Even with the tutoring I was receiving from another graduate student that had all the same classes as I did, I was still making B-‘s.
Needless to say, I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety officially and have left the university on medical release. I’m currently crashing on the couch at my fiance and his family’s house. I’m looking for work and hoping we can save the money to get our own place. His family let me into their home with open arms and I think I’ve thanked them more times than I can count. I do feel really guilty about putting this all on them though.
I have to go run errands, so I’ll have to cut it short here. But if anyone has any questions, I’ll be more than happy to elaborate on anything.